Monday, 4 January 2010

Discombobulation and the Art of Distraction

I've had this blank post open now for about three hours.

I've written a bit of this and a bit of that and I've deleted it and started again and then deleted that.

I don't know if I've got nothing to say or too much to say. I don't know whether I am entirely lacking inspiration or simply oozing it. Has too much become nothing at all? Or is nothing at all taking over everything else?

Is it the time of year? Is it that a new year presents so many opportunities to do something new that it's hard to see the wood for the trees? I'm not much of a one for a new year's resolution, preferring to aim for something unquantifiable ("I'll say 'yes' more often" or "I'll have more fun") but I wonder if a more definite resolution actually brings focus before there's time to lose it.

Maybe it's the temperature. Maybe my thinks are froze. I am not a fan of cold, and boy is there a lot of it about at the moment. I don't like my first and last thought being whether I've got enough layers on, or wondering whether it's too Granny-like to be curled up on the sofa in my jimmers, fleecy bedsocks and moth-eaten cardigan, under a blanket (admit it ... that's the sexiest mental image anyone's conjured for your today).

Maybe it's just that there has been so much that has been regimented, controlled and prescribed for such a long time. Now I'm freer, and my time is my own. Other than the small matter of work, I don't have to be anywhere for two months. It's a bit daunting to go from extreme organisation to extreme liberation. Too much freedom isn't good for a girl. Not for this one anyway. I function better when plans are in place, or I risk languishing on the sofa under a blanket (phwor!) waiting for something to happen.

Or maybe it's none of these things. Maybe it's not that there's too much, but that there's too little. Maybe it's that I've got a nice house now, but that life is still the same, just under a different roof. Maybe it's that, for all I've started a new job which is calmer than the old one, I'm still really doing the same thing, and it's still not really that interesting. Maybe it's that it's a new year and it's still the same and I don't know how to put that down on the page anymore.

Maybe it's just that I'm tired and crabby and feeling the same January Blues that everyone else is feeling. But one way or another I can't seem to get my thoughts in order, and I'm in a proper blue funk.

I promise to try and snap out of it by tomorrow, when normal, eloquent, erudite, and deeply fabulous (humour me ... I'm feeling precious) service will be resumed.


  1. Feel the funk Tooting, it'll move on soon. And yes you are deeply fabulous!

  2. I had 3 months off once between jobs & it was hard to get out of the jammies, even in summer. In fact, I used to go & put them on, just so I could do a Dave Lister & slob around slobbily. That lasted about 3 days. I predict you'll soon get tired of watching the crap that's on TV & spring into something slightly less frozen. Hopefully not a puddle.

  3. Plans you say - how about babysitting for me on Saturday?!! It's only another day, not really a whole year and you have achieved an enormous amount in that time, even if you don't feel like it just now. We think you are fabulous. x

  4. No - think it's the bloody weather, and bloody january and bloody New Year which is doing it. I feel the same.

  5. Oh it's just the limbo after xmas and new year that gets everyone. We all try to be positive and make plans and start as we mean to go on bla bla bla but really we are all sat in jim jams, under a blanket finishing off the last chocolates and still drinking the wine (i swear i was giving up!)You'll feel fine soon honest :) x

  6. I think being funky in jim jams is quite hard to do (even if they're pretty brown spotty ones) so consider yourself a high achiever.

    Brrr. Much snow. Wish I had some jim jams so I could work from home in them.

    Am now jealous of jim jams and blanket. Curses to you TS!

  7. RH - Aw, thanks love. It will. You're right.
    IG - But really. Jimmers are the best, no? If I could go to work in mine, I'd totally do it.
    Z - Erm ... thanks for the offer, but I'm afraid I have Saturday night plans. Not wild crazy ones unfortunately, but plans nevertheless.
    K - The weather is bloody. I HATE snow. It's cold and wet and it gets everywhere. Hate it.
    ER - Oooh, chocolates. That's a good idea ...
    BL - I will make it my personal mission to source you some PJs in 2010.


Toot me