... or is there?
I'm a big fan of the new articles that start, "And finally ...". Those ones that only come out on days when there is mercifully little else to report.
Today there were no crazed gun-men running around the north-east, no soldiers were killed, and no oil leaked. Glory be! Which meant that there was room for a few crazy news stories.
Today, my star WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING? prize goes to this one (animal lovers should not read on).
Firstly, for clarity's sake, I'm not saying this is right. I'm not saying that it's a good thing in ANY way to put a parachute on a donkey. And it's not funny. Not funny. Not. Funny.
Well, it is a little bit funny.
Not the actual squealing donkey bit - that must have been pretty horrific all 'round - but the bit that went before.
I have a mental image of a handful of be-suited men sitting around a table in a hotel at the Sea of Azov, drumming their fingers on the table.
Dimitry: What can we do, Viktor, Ivan, what can we do? We need to promote our little beach and we need something good.
Viktor: You're right Dimitry. We need something that is both glamorous and sea-sidey.
Ivan: What about a wet t-shirt competition?
Dimitry: No, no, no! Too seedy! I want some class!
Viktor: Miss Azov contest?
Dimitry: Viktor! This is 2010! We are a sophisticated nation. No, no. Something for the whole family.
Ivan: Sandcastle competition?
Viktor: Fishing lessons?
Ivan: Sausage sizzle?
Viktor: One of those giant inflatable banana things that you pull behind a speedboat?
Dimitry: For goodness sake! Why can we not come up with any good ideas? Just one! That's all I ask.
Ivan: Well I saw this thing in a comic book with a donkey and a parachute ...?
Dimitry: That's it! Viktor! You get the parachute! Ivan! The donkey! We're a GO GO GO!
house of eels: july 2017*
1 week ago